please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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