She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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