Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
