So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
