dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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