I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
