I bet he comes in French.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
