So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Acid is not a monday night drug
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize