Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
