All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
