but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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