so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I think i got beer on your cat.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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