Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
it glows. i had to have it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
