There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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