Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize