Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
