I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
