We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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