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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Shut the hell up.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.

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• (310): View more from California

  That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!

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