Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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