i always forget guys have bellybuttons
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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