Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize