also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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