Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
