I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
