I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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