i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
