i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
