i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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