you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
