we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
