Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
