going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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