PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
