Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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