thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
