there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize