Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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