i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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