ugly people sure do ruin things
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang