you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now