I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
