Walk of Shame. In a state park.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You took a bar mat shot.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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