I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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