I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
