It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
