I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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