i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
