If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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