You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
