So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
