and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize