dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
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I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
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No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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