Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
