He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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