Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
