your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
