Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize