Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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