the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
